A STORY FOR A FRIDAY

So, at my old office on Pete Rose Way, we had a gym in the basement. There I took a kickboxing class from the coolest, craziest guy ever, Tim. He drives a zebra truck and is one of my favorite people, ever. Anyway, this morning I get this email from a friend who still works at the building and takes the class. Apparently a shower stall in the locker room was backed up. Tim sent this message to the girls in the class to let them know the status of the shower. Its a long story, but WELL WORTH your time reading. Folks, its pretty gross. Be strong.

Ladies,
As promised, the showers were augered yesterday to
try and take care of the back-up problem that has been
occurring as of late. And, as suspected, the back-up
was being caused by something in the pipes that had
been building a nest. Jeff and another guy (Orson)
managed to destroy the nest and its creator, but not
without considerable effort and a bit of an injury. I
guess as they were augering the drain, the thing
attacked and attached itself to the end of the
roto-rooter device, so as they retracted it from the
drain the creature came out with it. But, as such
pipe-dwelling creatures are very sensitive to light,
it quickly released the end of the auger, floundered,
and tried to make its way back into the drain. Orson
tried to stop it, but not thinking, he grabbed the
snake-like thing (apparently an eel) by the tail.
But, living in tunnel-like environments, it was
incredibly agile, and quickly turned and bit him on
the hand. He let go of it (duh), but Jeff managed to
stomp on it a couple of times before pinning its head
with his boot. They then stabbed it several times
with a screwdriver. If you saw the dark stains
yesterday, that was actually its blood (yes, I did
clean those up). Jeff is okay, but they did have to
take Orson to the hospital because of the bite. As
you can imagine, a creature that lives in such a nasty
environment has an equally nasty bite from the
bacteria that are in its gums and teeth--yuck. They
gave him some strong antibiotics, but are going to
hold him for a day or so for observation. Apparently
the creature was some kind of fresh-water eel, called
a kaldalra, and is actually a distant cousin of the
moray, but much smaller. Scary and yuck. If you see
those guys, you might want to thank them, as well as
Bill P. If you want to send Orson a card, you
may use the address below.

Tim


STORY UPDATE:
I just got this email from my pal, Melissa. Looks like the story was fiction. He did a good job of making it real - especially when he included an address to send a get well card to Orson...

"Neena went to class yesterday and asked Tim if his story was true . . . .it is not. The truth is that there was just more hair in the drain, but instead of telling us all that AGAIN, Tim was in one of his "moods" and decided to writing this wonderful story with reference to Orson Wells (War of the Worlds). He got me." - Melissa D.