a little story for the BIRTH day of Urban:

I started writing this at the hospital the day after Urban was born, but never finished it. I wanted to keep a record of this amazing story, and so here it is! I just finished it up, on Urban's first birthday. I am so happy it's complete!

A couple things to note before diving into the story:

1. My biggest fear for as long as I can remember was childbirth. I was scared of pretty much everything about it: the anticipation, the pain, the aftermath. When I got pregnant I read a book called "Supernatural Childbirth" that discusses the possibility of having a pain-free birth experience. I was empowered through that and a Bible-study I was in to fervently pray for no fear regarding my birth experience. I knew that pain was intensified through fear, and knew that if I could be free of fear, I may be free of (at least some of) the associated pain.
2. Paul and I felt a little irritated at the couples we knew that prepared a detailed birth plan and were then devastated when the birth did not go according to "plan." We had learned that about anything is possible in the delivery room, so we decided that our birth plan would be not to have one. We knew I wanted to deliver naturally, but wanted our child to be born safely and were willing to use intervention if needed. We loved our doctors, and trusted them completely. 
3. If this sort of thing makes your queasy this story is pretty graphic so beware!

The birth of little Urban David was a miracle. I had little pain, no fear, and experienced a quite complex birth!

brand new Urban! Check out the cone head.

Saturday, August 22

7:30 am – We took a long walk (to help encourage labor) to grab waffles at Madison Ave Coffee Shop

9:00 am – Back home

10:00 am – Off to target (to buy sock monkey supplies), also went to King Arthur Court

12:00 pm – Home, Paul hung shelves in Urban’s room, Amy did laundry, organized dresser

3:00 pm – Ate grilled cheese. YUM.

4:30 pm – Left to get tire fixed, car washed. Tire place closed, it started raining – went to Organized Living at Kenwood instead – to get gifts for Paul’s Sunday night party for his “Vision Team” at Nada

6:00 pm – Wanted spicy food to help encourage labor – picked Skyline – Amy – 5 way, PO – 4 way bean with 1 cheese coney with mustard, Amy wore a bib to protect big belly from chili – felt gross from all that chili

7:00 pm – arrive at Christine and Demian Wilson’s home to play games. Didn’t end up playing any – just sat & talked about children, movies, etc. Amy drank 2 cups of coffee (with ice) and ate about 6 little chocolate chip cookies. Felt full and kinda gross. While sitting at their “booth” kitchen table, I sort of felt lower back pain and abdominal cramping, as if I was on my period. Not a big whoop, but I kept changing positions in the booth.

9:00 pm – Used bathroom at Wilsons’ – noticed another chunk of mucus plug came out, (some came out earlier in the week) along with some pink spotting. (I said this would be graphic) Perhaps some brown staining from my water breaking? Not sure. Came and told everyone, and about cramping. They were all hoping I would go into labor that night. Kept talking but moved to couches – felt a little more uncomfortable.

10:00 pm – Visited potty again – more spotting. Christine felt my belly – thought I was contracting.

10:20 pm – Left for home – in car – felt more regular cramping

10:30 pm – Decide we really should be prepared, pack up last things, made piles of stuff to go to hospital.

11:20 pm – in bed – still having cramps that would definitely come and go

11:37 pm – “Hey, maybe these are contractions, perhaps we should time them.” Amy laid in the Bradley Method position for contractions – Paul would time. They were coming every three and a half to four minutes and were 30-45 seconds long. (?!!)

Sunday, August 23
12:05 am – Called mom to tell her contractions were there, surprised at how close they were, but thought they must be false – seemed too close for little to no drama/pain. Told her we would keep her posted.

12:44 am – Called Jenn (who went to Indy to visit in-laws – her nephew was getting baptized Sunday). Told her same thing we told mom.

12:47 am – Called the doc on call. (Dr. Hoopes). She told me to drink three 8oz glasses of water and see if that changed the contractions. If not, to come into the hospital. Started drinking. They were a little different, 7 min apart at first, the 4, then 2, etc. Showered. (very difficult – had to grab side of shower at one point to work through a contraction).Then moved to couches downstairs.

2:27 am - Contractions becoming much stronger. I was not as cool, calm and collected. Decided that because the contractions did not change a lot, Paul packed up car and we headed out. Called mom and told her to get going.

2:33 am – Called Jenn and told her to get her buns here.

2:50 am – Arrive at hospital – it was hard moving around through contractions. I was sent to triage room after signing papers with really bad handwriting. (I had to ask desk girl if I would wait on a contraction to pass before moving to the room. I felt super high maintenance, but tried not to be too dramatic) I asked her if they get some “real crazies” coming in. She said YES, that the last girl was a screamer.

2:54 am – Asked to use the bathroom to pee, could not go. Strange.

2:55 am – Baby boy was hooked up to monitor, heart beat sounded fine.

2:56 am – Nurse lies me on my back to check my cervix. Says, “I don’t feel a cervix – just head!” Has another nurse check. I am FULLY DILATED to 10 cm. I bust out laughing. They run to get my room started and grab Paul. One woman literally asked what was wrong with me. I was totally shocked, this labor stuff is a piece of cake!

3:10 am – In delivery room, there are people running around everywhere – all heck had broken loose. Hooking me up to stuff, running IV’s, etc. They ask if I need to push yet, I tell them I don’t think so. How was I supposed to know if I was ready to push?

3:30 am – Dr. Hoopes comes in to check me out. She asked if I wanted an “eppie” and I say, “I guess not if I have handled it this far.” She agreed and said she would not have taken one at this point either. I felt confident and excited. Thought Urban would be out in a jiffy. I was bummed Mom and Jenn wouldn’t make it, but was content.

3:40 am – I decided it was time to start pushing. I thought it was very satisfying to push against the contraction. It made sense – felt natural. Apparently I was “good” at it. Was not as “painful” as I was expecting. It was more just HARD WORK. Like running up a really really really steep hill, or bench pressing more than you can imagine. REALLY HARD WORK. More work than pain. The beauty of it was that there was a few minutes between each contraction. I got to rest between them. I diligently followed the Bradley Method relaxation techniques and laid completely still during with eyes closed those sweet little breaks. Paul and the nurse(s) (there were a couple shift changes) were awesome. PO held a leg, the nurse held a leg. The nurses did a better job of firmly holding my leg, so I kept telling PO to hold it better. He felt bad because he was not as experienced (of course) and did not know how to properly hold my leg. Man, they need to go over that better in birthing classes.

4:40 am – One hour of pushing done. With each push I ask Paul and nurse if there is any progress. They sort of say “well, a little bit, but you are doing great!” I was starting to get frustrated and was a little peeved. I was pushing SO. HARD. Around this time they decide that the baby boy is sunny side up, meaning that his face is toward the ceiling, which is not supposed to happen. The back of his head should exit first. The way he was turned the back of his head was slamming against my tailbone. Ouch. This is the reason why I was experiencing lower back pain. So, I start moving to push in different positions (strange) to try to flip him myself. I tried all fours, sides, grabbing on to the back of the bed, etc. I am sure this was quite attractive with my bum in the air. Ick.

5:30 am – Jenn arrives after a speedy trip from Indy. I was SO HAPPY she was there. Amazingly, she was not grossed out by everything. She was encouraging and helpful.

5:40 am – Two hours of pushing done. Very exhausted at this point. We decide to try to push a couple more times before changing strategies.

6:10 am – Dr. Hoopes decides that she wants to go in and “manually turn” him. Yikers! (This means she sticks her hand in, grabs ahold of his head, and flips him around. Chalk that up to reason 1,658,190 I would never want to be an OB/GYN). Apparently this is pretty painful, so she won’t do it without an epidural. After about 2 seconds of contemplating this, we decide to go for it – remember, I wanted a natural birth, but I also trusted my doc and wanted baby boy to arrive safely. I was not disappointed. The anesthesiologist comes in and man, he is SO NICE. He was very warm and gentle – explains the process very clearly to me. I have to grab ahold of the nice short nurse while sitting on edge of bed while he sticks the needle into my back. They tell you that you cannot move. And contractions are still happening. Crazy people. Jenn said she saw a dribble of dark blood trickle down my back. EW.

6:25 am – I am all loopy now. My lower half is completely numb, and I am not exactly sure how to handle it. I kept touching my legs and it was such a strange sensation not to feel them. Jenn and Paul are cracking up at me. I guess I was pretty hilarious. I kept asking the nurses about their kids, etc.

6:35 am – Dr. Hoopes comes in and does the deed. I can’t feel a thing. She wants me to wait a little while before pushing again.

6:55 am – So its time, and they have to tell me when the contraction is coming because I cannot feel a dang thing. SO STRANGE. I just felt like I was holding my breath – I could not tell where to direct the push. It was weird and I didn’t like it.

7:15 am – a few more pushes later, and Dr. Hoopes determines that Urban has slid back into the sunny side up position. She feels around a bit more, and determines that he’s pretty stuck. She said that I was a champ at pushing, and that if he wouldn’t have been stuck he would have “shot out across the room.” (I love that lady.) Because she “couldn’t feel his ears” (ew) she didn’t think vacuum extraction or forceps would work. She told us that she is “a pretty adventurous doctor” and she would never rush into c-section, but because he was pretty stuck, and so far up, there was pretty much no other option. I was unbelievably exhausted, and knowing that the end could be in sight and that baby boy would be born safely, I was ready to move forward. I won’t lie, I was disappointed, but disappointment didn’t last too long because I was ready to meet this kid. Paul and I were prepared to do what it took to have this baby. We wanted a natural birth, but we knew that that couldn’t always happen. We were ready for anything, and we experienced everything: a quick relatively pain free early labor, natural pushing, pushing with an epidural, and now a c-section.

7:30 am – Dr. Hoopes comes in to let us know that she is actually heading home because of a shift-change, and that Dr. Gardner would be doing the c-section. I was back to my loopy epidural-induced state and jokingly asked if Dr. Gardner was experienced in c-sections. (ha – Dr. Hoopes said she had done “thousands”). I was excited and relieved that I would meet this baby soon. Mom and Dad finally arrived from the long drive from Evansvile, and were able to say “hi” and give me hugs before heading into surgery.

8:15 am – I am in the operating room. The anesthesiologist is back and actually stays by my side the entire surgery. The pre-op stuff goes very quickly. I was swiftly numbed from the chest down. Strange.

8:30 – Dr. Gardner yells for Paul to get the camera ready, and she starts yelling “Now Dad! Now Dad! Oh, he’s small, and he’s VERY cute!” I was sobbing, PO took a video, she quickly raises him over the curtain so I can see him. Paul takes video while they weigh, measure, wash him off, etc. After what seemed an eternity, they brought him to my face and let Paul hold him there for me to look at. He had quite the cone head from all those hours of pushing, but man, the doctor was right. He was VERY cute.

New happy (exhausted) family

my due date: one year ago today

So I was due to have little Urban one year ago today. Because I had no signs of going into labor, we went to celebrate with Jenn and Justin to Terry's Turf Club for some delicious burgers (as seen above). Yummy. You can't really see the magnitude of my belly due to the black tank top I am wearing, so below I posted a pic from my Cincinnati shower. (taken by my sis-in-law Christine who is very talented given that I look pretty decent despite my overall puffiness.) Even though we thought we were prepared, we had NO CLUE how much little Urban would change our lives.

Today she's ONE!

Today my most adorable niece, Samara, turns one year old! We are just thrilled to have her in the family. Her smiles are contagious, and Urban agrees. We have a photo of the Wilkey family on the mantle in the dining room, and at least once during every meal Urban points at the photo, smiles and giggles. He loves his cousin. I can't wait to celebrate these toddlers' birthdays this weekend with the fam.

Time's fun when you're having flies...

I hate it that I can't remember what teacher used to tell that joke. (What did one frog say to the other?) I really think it was my 5th grade teacher, Mr. Dorff, but you Mt. Vernon people can correct me if I am wrong... Anyways, back to the punch line, time flies when you're having fun. I have not updated this blog in 11 months. I noticed this when I visited a friend's blog and she had mine listed in her sidebar. It nicely tells how long it was since the blogger last posted. Sheesh.

I actually hate it when people apologize for not blogging, so I am not going to do that. I am just being super sentimental these days since my sweet son is going to be a year old in just a matter of days. We seem to be an "official" family now - with a child that can walk and talk (a little) and participate in most of what we do.  I want to mark the moment, and do a quick recap of the last year - its been a good one!

Months 0-3 - EAT
Urban was a very cute, yet very skinny baby. He never made it on the chart in weight, and we were always worried he wasn't getting enough milk. I fed him every two hours for these first few months and it was exhausting. I was so worried about feeding him that getting him to nap during the day was just not something I thought about. He cried a lot, I fed him a lot. In retrospect, we realized he was probably sleepy, not hungry! Being a first-time parent is hard! He first smiled at me at about a month and a half, and all those hours of crying were worth it.

Urban's early post-eating pose

Months 3-6 - SLEEP
After talking with friends, I realized I needed to get Urban on some sort of a sleeping schedule. So, we started the eat, awake, sleep routine and it worked! Less crying! Except that the only way we could get Urban to nap during the day was to swing him around in our arms and sing to him. (or taking a car ride, or going for a walk in the ergo carrier). So we spent a couple months sitting still three times a day while Urban napped in my arms. Again, exhausting. At about 4.5 months, we tried the good-old Ferber method and successfully got him to sleep at night and nap during the day! In a crib! At three months he started playing with toys on his own, at four months we took him to Kids Club at church for the first time. We started rice cereal at 5 months (which he loved). He started gabbering around 6 months. Once this kid started getting rest his bright and fun personality really started to show up.

Napping in my arms after Thanksgiving dinner

Months 6-9 - MOVE
Urban is advanced. I will just go ahead and put that out there. (joke). He has been rolling over since birth practically, and was scooting and crawling around by five months. He has always been a busy kid, looking around, playing and just generally entertaining himself. But during months 6-9, he was seriously on the move. There was nothing this kid would not find and put in his mouth. Electrical cords were his favorite, but really anything would do. His crawl was more of an "army crawl" for months - he pushed himself along with his right foot. Occasionally (at the end of month 7) he would "regular" crawl if on hard flooring. Goofy kid. We loved his energy, and his smile. He is just such a happy kid. We moved on to foods other than bland rice cereal, and it was so much fun to see his reaction to each new food. He ate anything we fed him, but made a face and gagged for a lot of different foods, especially plain white potatoes.

Army-crawling around our bedroom

Months 9-12 - PERSONALITY
I would say in these last three months, Urban is starting to really develop his personality. We noticed him really showing a sense of humor - he loves to crawl away from you and giggle as you chase him. He loves to be startled and scared. He has also recently decided that he would rather pick up his food with his fingers and feed himself as opposed to being spoon fed. He's already showing signs of wanting independence! Yikes! He will be asking for the car keys soon... He loooooves to eat, and his favorites are kiwi, any kind of melon, toast, yogurt, cheese and blueberries. We have been trying to teach him sign language, with signs for "more" and "all done" but he chooses to use his own signs: banging his hands on the table for "more," and ripping off his bib for "done." Hilarious. He is also quite the talker. The first word (besides babbling "da da da da") seemed to be "book," followed by ball, boo, ma ma, and what we think is monkey! That is right, our advanced kid is saying two-syllable words. Not sure what possessed me to start this, but around 9 months, after feeding him in the rocking chair, I would ask him if he wanted to "see the monkeys" and I would then lift him up to eye-level with the shelf above my head where two adorable stuffed monkeys sat. After repeating that a few times, he would try to stand on the boppy, wave his arms, look and reach out to the monkeys! Soon he was grabbing them off the shelf and carrying them around with him everywhere. Now he will grab and cuddle any stuffed animal in his room. He loves baths, swimming, books, car rides, trips to the grocery, and eating out in restaurants.

Monkey!

Chilling at Uncle Danny's pool

Mr. Personality

It's been a fantastic year - I get all weepy when I think about how much he has changed and grown, and that we no longer have a little baby in the house. I never would have imagined myself being someone who would get weepy about such things, but I guess that is what parenthood does to you.

What's in a name?

So, we named our son Urban.

ur⋅ban

/ˈɜrbən/ Show Spelled Pronunciati[ur-buhn]–adjective

1.	of, pertaining to, or designating a city or town.

2.	living in a city.

3.	characteristic of or accustomed to cities; citified: He is an urban type.

Origin:
1610–20; < class="ital-inline">urbānus, equiv. to urb- (s. of urbs) city + -ānus

As soon as we found out I was pregnant we started collecting names that we liked in a notebook, and Urban was actually at the top of the boy list from the beginning. Urban is my maternal grandfather, who died when I was in high school. Paul and I met in college, so he never got to meet Grandpa, but when he first learned his name, he thought it was one of the coolest names he had ever heard. I had never really thought twice about his name since I had grown up knowing the name and it just seemed fitting for an old grandpa... So I started thinking about it as a potential name, realizing I have never know anyone else named Urban which was pretty appealing to me, especially since it wasn't a "made up" name and because its a normal word in the English language, everyone knows how to spell it and pronounce it! Plus, anyone that knows Paul and I knows that we are "urban" people who love the city, living in the city, and all things related to cities and being about them. Fitting?

It did take me a little bit to further warm up to the name. I was curious how the family would react - did they like Grandpa's name? Would they think I was a total weirdo? Would the name be easily made fun of by the other kids in school? Would people shorten it to Urb or Urbie? (ew). Would they think we were just huge Florida fans? (Paul pointed out the head football coach there is named Urban Meyer.) Did I want to name my child after a series of 8 popes in the Catholic church? Seriously, these were legitimate questions...

I even wondered if if Grandpa was worthy of being named after. I know that sounds awful, but I had those thoughts. Does the person you name your child after need to have a flawless and noble character, or could he be just a plain nice guy who was a grocery store owner, butcher and good father who loved to play cards and garden? One Saturday Jenn and I were visiting our grandmother in her nursing home over lunch. She was sitting at a table with two of our great aunts: Emma, Grandpa Urban's sister, and Henrietta, his sister-in-law. For some reason the conversation turned to Urban, and Emma started telling us stories about how Urban was her favorite brother - always sticking up for her and carrying her books to school in the snow. Henrietta also echoed Emma's strong feelings toward Urban, both smiling and enjoying telling stories from past times. I knew then that the name was a good choice for our son. I, too, have great memories of Urban, helping him in the garden, picking tomatoes and zucchini, watching football games on lazy Sunday afternoons, going to the horse race track, and playing lots and lots of cards. Urban Kissel as a young dude.

Urban (and Dorothy) Kissel as I remember them best.Our little Urban.

I think Grandpa would be honored...

one month of Urban

Urban David is one month old today. Paul and I have been living a completely different life the past four weeks. We are deeply in love with this little bundle, and I can't fathom what life would be like without him.
Another thing that is hard to believe - how much of our time this little guy needs. (99% of it!) I had been hoping to blog frequently about his early life, but alas, there is no time. Urban is a hungry little dude, feeding every 2 (sometimes 3!) hours, and he is not a fast eater. Life is simple - we care for Urban, rush to shower and feed ourselves, and introduce him to our friends and family that stop by with armloads of delicious food and presents.
Today, his one month birthday, he seems to have decided to take it a little easier on us. He has napped! During the day! and has allowed me some email catch up time this evening.I am currently composing an entry of his fabulous birth story - we can't wait to share it. Hopefully it will be posted this week.

Happy Birthday, little guy!

August 21

SO, the first full day after the due date has come and gone! It was a great day, woke up at 7 after a solid 9 hours of sleep. Walked over to a friend/client's house to hand off some invitations and chat. Met Liz for a long walk at Ault Park with her two kids and dog. Met Paul for lunch at Panera. Came home, napped, and sat outside on the porch, enjoyed the gorgeous afternoon and wrote a bunch of thank you notes for fabulous gifts people keep bringing by. I also received my "Hooter Hider" in the mail! It's so cute! Love the fabric. Now that my hooters can be properly hid, the kid can arrive any time... Paul and I at dinner, and then Jenn came over and brought a movie and Frank. (who promptly poo'ed in the Kid Room. erg.) It was a nice day. I had hoped my water would break or that I would start contractions in the night, but no such luck....Liz and I at Ault Park! Adorable Pirate shoes for Junior from the Seddons!